Only the Rain: A Novel by Silvis Randall

Author:Silvis, Randall [Silvis, Randall]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: thriller, Suspense, Mystery, Contemporary, Crime
ISBN: 9781542049948
Amazon: 1542049946
Goodreads: 35906795
Publisher: Thomas & Mercer
Published: 2017-12-01T08:00:00+00:00

I wish like hell I could stop thinking about that naked girl. I keep imagining her sucking my dick, and about fucking her on that bare mattress in the meth house. And it’s hard, angry fucking. There’s nothing sweet about it. I even jerk off thinking about her. Then afterward I feel like whale shit, the lowest of the low.

For a while back there in the sandbox I used to jerk off to that other girl, the one you kept Perry from raping. What I never told you about that incident, what I was always too ashamed to tell you, was that before you came into that room and stopped him, I’d been there from the very beginning. I was there when he grabbed her and dragged her into the room, I was there when he ripped off her clothes and pushed her down onto the floor. I was standing there staring at her breasts and her bush and doing nothing to help her. Not so much as a word to tell him to stop.

Then all of a sudden there you are pushing past me and grabbing him and yanking him around just as he’s about to let his pants fall to the floor. You’re screaming, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, soldier!” and he’s whipping out his Beretta and bringing it up toward your face and that’s when I finally came unfrozen and smacked the M4’s butt into his chest.

Afterward I told you I’d stepped into the room only a nanosecond before you did. I was pretty sure you knew I was lying, but you never once challenged me on it. And I hated myself for that. Both for lying to you and for thinking what I’d been thinking before you showed up.

What makes us act like such animals sometimes, Spence? I don’t want to be an animal. I want to be a man. I want to be a good husband and father and somebody who doesn’t flinch when he looks at himself in the mirror.

Jesus, Spence. What am I supposed to do with all this crazy shit?

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